A newly Stay at Home Mom....

I don't know if anyone else relates, but it is a big life change to become a stay at home Mom. Scratch that. It is a really big life change to become a mom altogether. To gain these two little beings and grow our family is just the best life change I can think of. When you have a baby, in 2013, now 2014, a lot of things in the economy can weigh heavily on the decisions we have to make. I guess what I am saying is, it's a financial tug of war. I am used to being a working mom and having a daycare program that was one I liked and trusted greatly but also, almost constantly made me feel guilty in that my little one was in their care almost 60 hours a week. We were slaves to our routine and bedtimes, baths and schedules. I loved and cherished our time at home together, at night, however, and weekends. That time was so so precious. I was also struggling financially, in that I was in a team of other salespeople (I was in inside sales at an industrial adhesives company) who mostly did not have children. I was the only one who did not have a school aged child in my team, and in the team down the hall in customer service. I think what I discovered was that at my payscale, most people wouldn't pay for full-time daycare at the rate we were making. So even though I was helping my household with finances, I wasn't making as big of a dent as I would like to have been, because of the cost of daycare. So when it came to keeping up with coworkers, with the clothes, lunches, excursions off of campus, it was not something I could partake in, all the way. Mostly, that was ok with me, because I was so happy being a mom and when I had extra time, I wanted to be with my husband and my little girl. I also saw the hustle of people in roles above me, and felt like that world did not appeal to me because of the travel and the stress for the extra, (I'm sure)padding to their salaries. So it wasn't a hard decision for me to walk away from that world when my son entered the picture. I was so thrilled to be a new mom again, and yet, I can't help the new and different guilt that all the financial pressure is put on my husband. So there it is, vent over. I love my babies so much, but I still think like a working mom, when I'm shopping, buying frivolously and I know I have to stop, adjusst and align my thinking to our new vision and support my husband who is working so so hard. I know the work I could be doing is still there, and I can hop back on the trolley at some point. For right now, this does feel right, in so many ways. I think with anything, it just takes time. I am a perfectionist, maybe a little bit, by nature, so what I do, I really want to do well. I am definitely, without a doubt, still a work in progress

Kim Kardashian On The Ellen Show 17/01/2014 Full Interview HD

Kim Kardashian Interview on Ellen, discussing Baby North and Preeclampsia experience

Birth story in GIFS

Hi there, my name is Pam. I just learned how to gif. This is my birth story in GIFs, almost a water birth
I haven't been blogging in a while, since I have a work computer….
My name *really* is Pam, and my coworker actually told me I reminded her of Pam from "The Office". I guess that's a compliment. I'm kind of quiet and shy and usually cheerful….NBD.
Ok on to my birth story…. I am a second time mom. I have a daughter who is now 4 and now a son too….. I love being a mom! I decided to go to a midwife this time, and planned on a hospital birth, in a jacuzzi tub, for the birth
My labor lasted 2 hours and was an intense horrible experience. I had had contractions on and off, no lie, since 22 weeks. They never had to stop them, and they never made me dilate, but there they were. They were real and they sucked. I never actually went into labor. I got to the hospital and the lovely midwife said she would break my water and see what happened. No IV, no pitocin. We would try that approach and see if that would make these contractions kick into high gear. Yup. That's all it took. It went from 0-60 in a hurry. They let me know, there was no time for an epidural. I was 4cm when she broke my water, and I went to 9cm in an hour!!!
They were like you can do this mama. You are a warrior
The instructions from my midwife was "Ok now just push down." The other nurse told me to push towards the ceiling!."What?!"
Every contraction I felt like they needed to reason with me, this was making no sense to me, why they couldn't get me an epidural.
My husband tried to reassure me. He was so sweet but I was so over the top in pain, I couldn't really hear him. He was explaining to me that all through my pregnancy I talked about not getting an epidural, and how this was my plan all along
Fortunately it wasn't much longer that our precious baby Lucas was ready to come by then. He was born after only 20 minutes of pushing
We are talking no IV, no epidural, no meds at all, almost a water birth. OK so it sucked but this is how I felt
He is the light of my life (just like his big sister) ...and is three months old today
He loves his big sister and it has sort of felt like one sleep deprived long wonderful crazy day

A mommy again, Lucas is born!

Hello to all, I am back with an exciting update. It has been a long long time since I have posted. My update is the birth of my beautiful second baby. My little guy is named Lucas Keith. He was born just before Halloween and was a nice healthy 8 pounds, 3 ounces and 20 and 3/4" long. My pregnancy was nowhere near as difficult as it had been with Julia. It was not without its own set of challenges, but I feel like we overcame them. Lucas was born within 6 hours of his due date.
That stunned me! I thought, for sure, this baby is coming around 37 weeks, maybe 35. The reason I thought that, was because they diagnosed me, early on in the pregnancy, AGAIN, with an irritable uterus, or, IU. It means that your uterus is much more sensitive than the average woman's, and therefore you are bound to feel much more contractions and stretching pain. Well my contractions decided to start earlier in this pregnancy than with Julia. They started at around 22 weeks. I was pretty scared.
I started my pregnancy with a doctor that looked all through my medical records postpartum with my first, after Julia was born. She is what is called a perinatologist, also known as a maternal fetal specialist. She helped me learn that I actually had HELLP Syndrome postpartum with Julia, that was never caught or treated. I believe I should have been admitted postpartum after I had Julia, and my blood pressure spiked, I was very ill feeling, nauseous, felt like I was drowning and my swelling was unbelievable.

Anyway, it was helpful to go to that doctor at the beginning of my pregnancy with Lucas, because I trusted her and did NOT want to go back to my old OBGYN!

After my 20 week ultrasound, we learned we were having a boy, and we were absolutely thrilled and overjoyed! As one of three girls, and an aunt to 7 nieces and a mother of one girl, I assumed of course I would have another girl, haha! Someone told my husband, he thought it was his lot in life to be surrounded by beautiful women. Such a cute sweet thought. I held onto all these clothes and gadgets for a baby girl, but God had another plan. And I couldn't be happier. It has been fun shopping for boy clothes and the sweet mother's bond to her son. At three months, he gazes at me so lovingly. He smiles extra big smiles for his momma, and it almost sounds like he says "mooo-mm-aa" when he fusses sometimes. True true love

Julia is a fantastic older sister. She loves her little baby and hands him toys, does goo goo ga ga with him and loves his bathtime. She mostly is in her own world of dolls, Barbies and Ponies. She has fallen in love with all things girly and pink these past few months. I don't remember her being as into princesses and dolls until the past 6 months or so. She just turned 4! She loved her birthday and can't wait to have another one.